what were you doing in your 20s?

Picture source here

3 quarters of the year had passed. We have 3 more months to go before we say goodbye to 2010 and welcome 2011. I know probably it is too early to think about 2011 new year resolutions, so I thought maybe is good to reflect what I had achieved/experienced and what I didn't do (but wanted to do) in my 20s so I could include them in my resolution list for the next 10 years. This needs abit of thinking...(10 years is alot to think about,hahaha) - to be continued...

updated: 12 Nov 2010

Top 10 things I have done/achieved/experienced in my 20s:
(in no particular order)

1. got a job offer in one of the Big 5 accounting firm
2. completed my Chartered Accountancy programme
3. got married and then got pregnant
4. gave birth to my lil Andrew ;)
5. bought and owned my first a car with my own money
6. bought  and owned a house (or more like a "pigeon hole")
7. did a bit of travelling (only managed to travelled around asia)
8. climbed the highest moutain peak in south east asia - Mount Kinabalu
9. moved out of my comfort zone
10. i can cook a proper meal and learned to bake :-)

Top 5 things I wish I could do if I could turn the clock back (in no particular order)

1. study overseas
2. to do more travelling (especially out of Asia-eg Europe, Japan etc)
3. be at my ah kong's and my guama's funeral
4. to find a new skill
5. i still can't swim properly :(. I wanna swim like those ppl in the pool especially when the water is higher than my nose!

22 September 2010 - In Memory of my Ah Kong

My Ah Kong (grandfather) passed away yesterday due to illness. I grow up living with my grandparents. I am deeply sad because I can't be back to Msia to attend his funeral because Andrew do not have his passport yet! The last time Anthony and I saw Ah Kong was when we were back in Msia for our wedding in Dec 2008. He was still very strong that time. He has been ill since the last 12 months and it got worst in the last one month. I last spoke to him on the phone couples of weeks ago and he was still alright then.

My Ah Kong was a strong and simple man! He came to Malaya with his father when he was only 5. All his life, he lives in our small town, Kajang. He inherited the coffee shop business from my great grandparents which was later passed down to my father. Ah Kong doesn't talk much and has a very humble personality. At 80+ years old, he could still go for walk/window shop at the mall at our small town all by himself. Every Wednesday used to be his day-out day of the week. He would get my father to drop him off at the town in the morning and pick him up in the evening. When he was still strong few years back, he would get on to the local bus to KL all by himself for his medical check up. I still remember, there was once he went for his eye cataract surgery done all by himself without telling anyone in the family. We only got to know when he came back with a "sunny". That's my Ah Kong, very independent and doesn't like to trouble his childrens or grandchildrens.

I believe he has lived his life to the fullest with no regrets. I hope he didn't suffer any pain in the last hours before his last breath. Rest in peace, Ah Kong.

Andrew's first baby talk

This is not a "normal" used tissue box. I have this on Andrew's nappy changed table, and guess what??!! At 8 weeks old, he actually says "hello" to the butterfly every time he sees these butterflies! So cute :)

(I've actually recorded his baby talk on my phone but having trouble retrieving it!)

Parenthood

latest family picture

Andrew is 6 weeks plus this week. My mother has also gone home to Msia last week. I took care of Andrew by myself (during the day only) for the past 1 week. Tough work, I must say! I can foresee hard work and lots of patient for the next few months or maybe for the next few years.

My labour pain lasted for 19.5 hrs (from mild contraction to super duper contraction pain and the "pushing" stage) - I was really exhausted towards the end. My mom and Anthony were with me in the labour room the entire time and I bet they were as exhausted as me too. After going through the child birth myself, I considered myself lucky as my mom and Anthony were with me the entire time. When my sister delivered her first child in a public hospital in Malaysia 6 years ago, no one was allowed in the labour room, not even her husband! Can you imagine she has to go through all the pains by herself without any support from anyone she knows. I'm not sure how well I will cope if I have to go through all the pains by myself! I think the private hospital in Msia now allow the husband to be in labour room.

The bottom graph showed my contractions around noon time on 16 July 2010.

aarrgggghhh...!!!! this is how I looked when the pain kicks in! (anthony can still take this picture because the pain was still not that extreme. During the extreme pain, I had to hold/grab Anthony on my right and my mom on my left! )

this is how I looked after 19.5hrs of 'battle' and Andrew is finally out to say hello to Daddy and Mummy :)

few minutes after delivery. "hello everyone, my name is Andrew :)"

Parenthood, hhmm... I find taking care of baby is really tough. I must admit, it is tougher than audit! At least in audit/ work, you know what to expect or when is the deadline or even if you can't meet the deadline, you can have Plan B to justify why deadlines are not met. Taking care of a baby is very difficult. Babies cry for everything, they cry when they are hungry, feeling uncomfortable, can't sleep etc. Basically, before they learn to talk, crying is just the only way they communicate to you. Sometimes, I felt so 'hopeless' for not able to understand why Andrew cries!

So far in parenthood, i learned the following:

1) Get used to sleeping less

Once you become parent, expect only few hours of sleep. As for me, I'm breast feeding, so I can't get Anthony to help to feed (unless his "breast" can produce milk??!!-LOL). Since delivery, I never have a solid 6 or 7 hrs of sleep. I find it really difficult at the beginning as I have to wake up every 2-3hrs throughout the night to feed Andrew, especially the first few days when I was in the hospital. My mother group friends advised me to sleep when Andrew sleeps. I was doing that when my mom was around, but I can't do it now as I need to prepare for dinner and do the laundry. Furthermore, I am not used to taking afternoon nap. It was difficult having not enough sleep at the beginning but getting better now as my body is getting used to the routine.

2) Multitasking

At work, I always multi task, in parenthood multi task is a MUST. Like now, I am typing with both my hands while my right leg rocking Andrew to sleep on his brand new rocker-hehehe. I multi task a lot while taking care of him, with one arm carrying him, I eat,drink,cook, fold clothes with another hand.

3) New CEO of the house

A friend once said the newborn is the new CEO to the house. This is very true! Andrew basically rule everything now! My time is no longer mine, he rules my time-24hrs! I think I can't plan anything for myself for the next few months (or maybe for the next 1 year) until he gets older. Now, I will need to put Andrew's need before my own needs. Whenever, I need to do something, I will need to consider whether will Andrew be sleeping quietly that time? or will he be crying in need of milk, feeling uncomfortable or etc? FYI, baby don't really follow routine. If he sleep quietly between 10-12pm yesterday, doesn't mean that he will do the same today.

4) Being super duper emotional

I am not sure, how many mothers experience this but I definitely do! Before Andrew, I don't think I was very emotional. Since having Andrew (even during pregnancy), I find myself very emotional and I often can't control my tears. It happens many time in the last few weeks especially when I can not understand why Andrew cries. My mom and sister were very worried because it is not a good sign to cry so much during confinement period. But I just can't control the tear. I felt better if I let it out. I am getting better in taking care of Andrew now, so less tears :) But, if something happens not according to my plan and make me frustrated/disappointed, I don't think I can control my emotion very well like I used to before.

5) Getting used to baby crying

I really look forward to the day Andrew can talk to me. At least, he can tell me what he wants. Now, he cries for everything. I don't like seeing him cry. When I can't figure out why he cries, I often ask him WHY WHY WHY!!!- hoping that he will respond to me by giving me some hints. Some friends (and I read in books too) told me that sometimes baby just cry for no reason as they need attention. At this time, you just need to leave them alone and they will keep quiet once they get tired of crying. Crying so much is also another indication that they are seeking for attention. I totally understand the logic and it make a lot of sense but I can tell you, it is easier said than done. Being a mother now, I felt so pitiful seeing Andrew cry so much. Like last night, Andrew didn't want to sleep and cry in the middle of the night, Anthony said just leave him and he will stop later. I waited for about 10 minutes and he still cries. I can't help it but to carry him up. I cuddled him for less than 5 minutes and he fell asleep. Situation like this, I rather cuddle him for 5 minutes and then put him back to his cot than to leave him continue crying. I don't like seeing him cry because when he cries too hard/loud his face turned red (and he would not eat well the next day) and sometimes tears come out too. Maybe this is an indication that I will pampered him more than Anthony, I don't know.

Of course taking care of baby is difficult and tough, it takes a lot of patient to take care of a child! When he respond to you with a smile or a little baby talk, your heart will definitely melt and you will forget all the hard work!

2 days after birth

Andrew at 2 weeks old

Andrew has 2 dimples like me :)

aaarrr, sleepy (*yawn)

I like this picture, he looks so cute here :)

Andrew in his brand new rocker on his full moon day. Thanks to Uncle Edmund and gang for the gift :)

so, the blogging begins...

so so so, the blogging begins... Since coming to Melbourne, many friends have asked me to start a blog for the purposes of keeping in touch. I love reading my friend's blog - Adeline's, Sarah's and Ailing's - to me, reading their blog gives me an idea of what they are up to and gives me a sense of closeness even though we are far away from one another- a way to keep our friendship going :). But I have been hesitating to start a blog myself because I am and was never good in writing and/or words since school, only got good grade in SPM English but poor grade in English 1119 and maklum la (i 'love' this!), English is my "second" language. Until recently, I felt that I need to keep myself busy with something during my maternity leave (other than taking care of my newborn son, Andrew - yes, I am busy enough learning how to take care of him, but that's different!). I started learning how to bake and did some reading too - but how much can I bake, I enjoyed baking but just once in a while and those who know me well enough, I'm NOT really into big time baking! Sekali, sekala bake, ok la! Reading - well, well...I never like reading. For me, reading needs to serve a purpose - i think I can only read for exam or for work, I don't think I enjoy reading just to past time. I started to read baby books, magazines but I don't think I am 100% interested with those books or magazines. Even worst, an audit partner suggested to read Accounting Standards (it is a thick fat book - 2 volumes) during my mat leave - super kiasu! Also, since, delivering Andrew, I found that my reading concentration reduces, I get very tired after reading one/two page(s). So, I was thinking, why not start a blog - a way to share my experiences and my thoughts. Before this, I have been updating some of my girlfriends about my pregnancy progress through emails, and I am sure they are now waiting for me to update them with stories about parenthood (I am one of the few among my close girlfriends who has a baby) So I was thinking, instead of writing email, might as well I start a blog! With a blog, I can write on something else as well.

I thought of the title of my blog yesterday morning - "my tales, my stories" - sounds simple to me. I hope to share my tales and my stories to all readers of my blog. The quote in my blog was from Melbourne MX newspaper - star sign section. I read on this few months back on the train back from work. I was particular stressed out on something in the future that time. After reading that, my mind calmed down a little and I told myself I just need to re-prioritise my to-do list and concentrate of doing one thing at a time. This quote was very true/relevant to me at that situation. I know sometimes motivational quotes, words or books can be untrue-some may say that it is unrealistic. There are times when we just need to act on something regardless on how we feel physically, emotionally or spiritually. Well, this is what we call challenges in life, without these challenges, life will be so not interesting... - motivational quotes, words or books are just a guide or reminder for us to take a step back and "re-strategise" our plan with more rational/logical mind. Do you agree with me?

the next entry, I hope to write about parenthood - stay tuned, cheers!